Monday, December 10, 2012

this will be the last of it...i hope!

they say the first step to letting go is acceptance...memories are bittersweet tortures but you have to continue pushing was a heavy feeling retracing the very places i once walked with the person i have almost considered to be part of my life maybe for forever. but there i am treading them as if heavy chains were strapped on each feet. i tried to keep my composure on the spot where once a person waited and looked at me like i was the only person in the world...i have to say i miss that but controlled myself of whatever emotion was gonna happen...talking aloud in my mind that it would never happen again :( so i kept  going... towards the streets where i was protectively held amongst  passing cars and buses...i was thinking of finally finding comfort when i entered the church but looking at the pews we once sat my heart just wanna stop beating for a moment and just walk out and find solace elsewhere. but i stood there reminding myself that i am here because i need to talk to the one person who knows entirely what are my heart's desire... i thought of it as a test on how far i'm willing to go to face HIM...i found relief knowing that despite my pain, my confusion and my many doubts someone up there has the greatest and best laid plans for me and that whatever I'm feeling right now is just temporary....just a little bend on the round to make me stronger and wiser the next time i turn on this corner..probably gathering a team of heavenly beings ensuring that my well deserved happy ending is gonna happen... 

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