Sunday, May 22, 2011

it seems that fate would always have our paths crossed and the last words "until our paths meet again" resounds like a thunder roar with lots of questions emerging from my mind. the good thing, i no longer have that strong sense of attachment emotionally as i write this but who knows in months time if that would still be the case. i am tempted to back out and i have millions of reasons for it to look valid but it would be hypocrisy to avoid this opportunity knowing that i am strong enough to face the reality despite its harshness. i mean hello? years have passed  to a point that i have immunized myself from feeling anything. i would never get answers if i continue to run away. as far as i know i have questions and they need answers. i will not demand for the answers but i have to know rather than turning a blind eye or keep pretending that you never existed. i cannot be living in webs of make believes, of how comes and of uncertainties. that is not the life i wanted and certainly in all honestly i wanna completely move on. move on in a real since that there are no unfinished business or outburst waiting to blow up. i hate showing my touchy side because it makes me vulnerable to a lot of things .i hate to be ridiculed even from my closest friends. you may see me laughing on the jokes you throw at me but always bear in mind that those pits of cries are not for your viewing pleasure. they were never meant to come out in public. it would be much appreciated if you just respect it. then again, it already happened and i cannot change what you are. i am not mad,  i'm just probably disappointed. this is a crisis that i carry for years! as much as i wanna keep it to myself, moments of vulnerability happen and as much as i wanna hold it all together those are the moments i simple cannot. if you don't like what you see or hear then best to keep your mouth shut. blackmailing are only for uneducated people. no hurt feelings here, just saying a little growing up wouldn't hurt. there are moments for childish things. as far as feelings go, basic common sense would tell us to respect it right? as crazy as it may seem, despite the immaturity ,you are still my friend:-p we've survived far more devastating heartaches, mishaps in life and silly moments. this one shouldn't break us char! back to original topic, so let's see what happens. base on my assessment i have no more reason to fallback. not in a sense i am in fighting form, just that things are more clearer and time has helped erased the setback i once fallen. so with God as my witness , giving me the power to wage war to beat out the conflict in me let's put the phrase "until our paths meet again" to the edge of its limit.

Saturday, May 7, 2011


for the longest time i've been insecure about my 2 front teeth protruding and seemed like the perfect smile is unattainable. as years passed priorities changed but i couldn't let go of achieving my perfect smile...not that it is a matter of life and death but i know deep inside that once i have it accomplished, a sense of pride will be a reward not worthy of any monetary cost. aside from boosting confidence (as if i have a low one?!!! nyahahaa:-p) taking pictures would not be bias to one side or nth shots just to get the correct angle. i can recall asking my mom when i was a teenager to have my teeth fixed but would just get a reply that it cost too much and that it will be better if she spends the money on our daily needs to which i completely understood and so i vowed to write in my book of life to have my teeth fixed someday:) so here is a narrative on how things went...

first 2 things to consider is financial resource and a dentist you can trust. well, it took me awhile to complete the financial aspect thanks to company bonuses:-p. as for the dentist, a good friend of mine recommended them! all systems go then! my dentist had an initial assessment and sent me to have my jaw/mouth x-rayed, pictured (the experience was funny/embarrassing a bit since you literally need to open your mouth the widest apil esophagus i feel mapicturan!) and teeth molding. after a week,my dentist then showed the xray films and pictures taken while explaining what needs to be done before placing the braces including the cost of the whole procedure. initial reaction was ngeks! the braces on the upper part were placed first but with my teeth structure ,2 impacted wisdom tooth on the lower jaw needs to be extracted to create space before placing braces on the lower part. the extraction took 1 month to complete since it cannot be done simultaneously and to give way as well for healing. the challenging part didn't happen while on operation  since anesthesia was injected but i could feel my jaw/mouth getting numb. pain starts to kick on as soon as anesthesia disintegrates apart from having  the extracted side will swell for about 3 days and i was resigned to eat only soft foods. pain can be managed though by making sure i take my medicines on the prescribed time interval. before operation i had to do away with alcoholic drinks so for a month i was alcohol free nyaks! after all the extractions and sacrifices (food,alcohol and social life!), last week the lower braces were placed and the upper ones were adjusting so that completes and is the start of my quest for a healthy and perfect smile...i tell you it's not easy since i have to make sure every now and then to practice good oral hygiene habits-not that i didn't previously but to achieve 100% satisfying results in the fastest possible time and to avoid risk and complications!