life is a series of contrast...it always come in pairs like black and white,the yin and yang, good and evil and so on and so forth...this contrasting yet harmonious effect they have are spices that make life interesting...i am in a bit having a vacation hangover from my last trip...i'm a bit surprise on how random things can just happen out of the blue...suddenly the fun needed to have an abrupt ending...bittersweet in a sense but as always no regrets...what i'm actually trying to point out is whenever we have good things happening it is always coupled with something in return. i have always been happy with the way life has been and i couldn't complain how it turned out. however, i've been happier in fact consider it happiest so far returning from the trip. meeting people is one interest i have ever since i can remember but some of them just leave a special memory and place on my book of life  nyahahahaa:) please don't quote it as a romantic statement because it never is to begin with...just plainly interested partly envious on the adventure they are having...hahayz....:)

quesera sera

i admit i am one of the most gullible person that goes in hand in hand with my happy go lucky persona and at times it has worked to my advantage...i'm certainly not trying to be pa-cute when i'm being naive...that's just how i am and a lot of things can catch my curiosity oftentimes endangering myself so i have developed a tough fascade over the years but to the core i'm just a regular girl that melts from time to time...i just came back from a vacation to one of my local dream destinations~PALAWAN! to rate it is by far the most memorable break i had granting that i get to explore a lot of myself and be on-site one of the world's natural wonders:)...every destination is different in terms of reason why i went there, was there and experiences...it could be happy,sad or just neutral state...i delight on the opportunity to meet people from different walks of life and culture...there is much to learn and share...it feels good to talk to someone who is/are very different from what i believe and know and the good thing about being on vacation is that you don't argue or outdo each other you just listen and flash smiles:) nyahahaa:-p this time though i am a bit envious on the new friends i meet...like they can give up work and travel...GOD! i wish i can do the same but reality bites...i don't have finances like them so i work so i can travel...i don't complain i mean i can and cannot at the same time no matter how crazy it sounds...but it won't hurt to wish a little right? nyahaa:-p anyway, to end my post i've never felt so good and open about myself...thanks to this trip!...until my next destination...quesera sera:)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

i admit that i haven't been blogging like i used to..not because i don't have time nor my mind just closing out on creative juices...in fact i've been meaning to blog a lot of things like little things and micro ideas that will suddenly just pop out of nowhere...but i have come into maturity on things to open up because most of the time they were triggered by things that irrated me or left me unaffected in general...so it's safe to say when they are published to the public in went through a lot of thinking nyahahaaa:-p 

today is thanksgiving day in US and for the past 6 years i had come to embrace it  as part of the many many Filipino holidays i celebrate and of course the obvious reasons almost no call shift nyhahaaa:-p but this year is extra special since it's also my sister's bday (ddang) so all the more reason to party! nyahahhahaa:-p plus i get to organize with jejen and junelyn our birthday surprise for our team leads brian and clyde complete with balloons, banner and uber2x food...so if you can see me now..you will see me in a big grin of smile painted all over my face...it's kinda like early Christmas for today nyahahhaa:-p 

the cold breeze is finally here...and without a doubt Christmas is around the corner...certainly not something i can deny anymore nyahahaa:-p i don't hate Christmas just that over the years I longed to be with my family and have the Christmas noche buena mama prepares...God I miss having a normal life as in my Cagayan life! drama echoszzz mode again!...normal is a word that i never associate myself with eversince...the choice i made are never normal but nevertheless it never ended without dramas...so it got me into thinking that dramas are what's normal for me nyahahhaa:-p contradicting and out of topic again! nyahhaaaa:-p going back, with the season being loving and happy in theme i'll try hardest to bring it into my life especially sa work kahit stress na stress na ako...i guess thanksgiving is for us to remember the things that we have to be grateful...things we have and things that we love...HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

just when i was about to give up...

oh well...i may have blogged earlier than expected regarding missed chances but i guess it's safe to say that i was given a chance just last weekend...all i asked was a chance to say my piece and I did and I am the happiest girl in the world nyahahhaaa:-p it's not that its officially official...i mean not yet but at least i know we stand on the same ground...babalik na naman ako sa complications in life theory...but come to think of it those complications are what makes life worthwhile and exciting...let's just say they spice up life! char! or maybe my life was never designed to be normal at all...i know there will be no assurance of this step i'm taking but i never felt this way for a long time...it felt so good that i can't stop smiling...isn't that what's important? although i have to take my heart with caution but i now will get it to work with my head so balance is maintained...as much as i hate to be patient i have to for now nyahahhaa...so i'm crossing my fingers and keeping my faith on something like this....:)

MISSED CHANCES :(

"Some things are just never meant to be, no matter how much we wish they were." 

in my life there had been a lot of times where i have been slapped in my face that there are  things that cannot be...no matter how hard you work or pray for it ...the only consolation  you can probably have is that you've tried and fought for it the best way you could...well it got me into thinking what if you have missed an opportunity just right in front your eyes would it have the same impact? to be honest, i don't have the right words to answer or even describe it. let's just say i've been busy with a lot of things and deeply obsessed on getting my goals that i failed to notice someone who clearly was asking for my whole attention...it was just all i have to do is focus on him and then i can be his world...i don't know if what i'm feeling right now is due to the fact that i feel guilty but who could blame me i couldn't see past our friendship...it could also be because i just got so scared and numb from all the broken promises that i blocked out anyone who truthfully show they care...now that i hear how he can care so much i am a bit jealous....because i know that i can never in my life get the chance to show it to him...now, we pretend that we are total strangers but would always bump into our circles and i just hate the fact that i cannot even talk to him or him to look into my eyes...i'm not asking for too much...all i'm asking is for a CHANCE...who knows what fate holds for us but as of the moment i truly and wholeheartedly MISS him...:( the thought of me not trying just kills me...so GOD please give me that chance:( nakow! mgdrama pa nang todo! listening to the only exception now! :-p

MABUHAY ang BAGONG SAKAL!!!! ayyyyy KASAL!!!! :)

who would have thought that one of the dreamgurlz would get married this year? if you ask anyone it'll  be unison "NEVER" nyhahahahahaa:-p but just last weekend one of our kind (ahem! rare and endangered!) just got hitched and we were just uber2x happy for ate aicha and kuya rico...for a hopeless romantic it would be the perfect avenue to once again feel and believe for the happy ever after tales we have heard and wired ever since....hahayz...all things beautiful and happy are what weddings for and i'm so glad to witness this one that when ate aich walked down the aisle we were in tears (tears of joy hap!)....the good thing about this wedding was that they planned it a year ago...so very rock 'n' roll as ate aich's favorite expression nyahhaha:-p now the next question....who's next? nyahahhaa:-p

finally!!!! MR and MRS AUXTERO!!!!

with the newlyweds @ reception

hala pag-agawan bah ang bouquet! nyahahhaaa:-p

1-2-3 CATCH!!!!!

I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud

"I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud"

 by: William Wordsworth  

 

I wandered lonely as a Cloud
That floats on high o'er Vales and Hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd
A host of dancing Daffodils;
Along the Lake, beneath the trees,
Ten thousand dancing in the breeze.

The waves beside them danced, but they
Outdid the sparkling waves in glee: --
A poet could not but be gay
In such a laughing company:
I gazed -- and gazed -- but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude,
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the Daffodils.

I came across one of my favorite poem...i just couldn't recall on what venue i recited this poem and  how old i was nyahahaha:-p...all i can remember is that i read it in front of my class and how the poem felt for me back then...sometimes i just wanna be high up in the sky, look down and be amazed on the wonders below...hhayz...life!

LOVE and VAMPS

listening to vampire diaries soundtrack (la lang connection just wanna hear something new:-p) ...i mean none of the things is making quite sense lately...so to occupy my mind i watched a very unknown movie entitled love and other disasters starring the late britanny murphy and matthew rhys ...just the typical feel good movie but i really love how the story was played out and above all i love the  british accent and humor...or maybe i'm just tired of americans (i don't mean to sound hateful :-p) i ended up laughing hysterically watching the movie...and i had some funny lines from the movie such as: "i'm not gay!im straight!"..."since when? " and "i didn't mean to hurt you..."fucking condescending!" ...the lines given although and may sound cheesy was delivered in a very very funny way and of course i had to take note some of my favorite lines "that's the problem with life it's nothing like the movies", " true love is a process not an event" and "the truth is UNCOMPLICATED, UNSATISFYING,HARD TO BELIEVE"...the way they presented the boy meet girl theory was so realistic and of course i can so relate with jacs having gay friends and gay girlfriends was just a plus...i so recommend this movie nyhahaa:-p to feel good ,if you just wanna kill time  and if you are on the look-out for the "ONE" :)

i am now back from hiatus not for vacation but to bid my nanay beba goodbye as she is now with papa GOD...as said on my entry i'll never feel the loss until i get to be there more like i only felt it during the last day of vigil when the 3rd gen ( term i used for me and my cousins since nanay's children are the 2nd gen) lead the rosary and eulogy...i mean each one of us will always have fond memories but the words that are tattooed on my mind describing my nanay was kind and sweet...:( to sum up how my mind goes at this exact moment as well as my feelings i have carefully choosen these 3 words....

• LEGACY-as the priest said death is an equalizer... in the end, we will all die. we cannot take with us beauty, fame and fortune. what will remain is the legacy we leave behind...during the eulogy, testimonials of how nanay would make sure that her family is intact...i am a living witness to the family reunions she would attend/organize to meet our relatives in tacloban...it was one of my most awaited event during summers...she would also make sure to make everyone feel comfortable and get to know each other...this just reminds me of station IDs but ours is real...everyone is there to celebrate and mingle with the entire clan...

• BITTERSWEET-during my first day at the funeral, i was overwhelmed with everybody's presence...i am feeling a but guilty because i felt the mood was somewhat festive as opposed to the somber mode we should be feeling...it is a bittersweet moment since i only get to see my relatives especially my cousins on moments like this...the last time we were all there was also to bid farewell to  kuya jimboy...it is only at these sad and desolate period i get to see all of them...i always say to my kuya's "magtapok-tapok lang jowd tah if naa mamatay?"...after spending some "chill time" with my cousins i felt so relieved that we all go through some issues of our own but the good thing about it is i don't feel alone and i feel normal talking it out to them since i'm talking to my own blood...the only question i have now is when will be the next time we see each other again...hopefully it will be a cheerful one :)

• REALIZATION- the incident has shaken my just stabilized mental and emotional state...it got me into thinking and ponder into a lot of ways most especially on living my life...i have a lot of doubts, fears and questions that i am too scared to fathom as of the moment...it get me into thinking on what would matter when my time comes...i just pray that it will pass and hope it happens the soonest...

FAREWELL nanay:(

after my work out i received a text message from mama "wala na si nanay"...i immediately called mama to check if she was okay...on the other end was a very calm voice and i knew i don't have to worry yet...judging from my mama's tone i felt that she already accepted and know that this is gonna happen...my nanay has been bed ridden for years, semi conscious and has breast cancer and time has made us prepare in a way what was about to happen...seeing or hearing that my nanay's health is deteriorating always breaks our hearts but we kept praying to papa GOD to give us strength to accept HIS will...i may sound unaffected but to be honest...reality hasn't sink in yet...my mind knows it's the reality but i still can't feel it yet or i still need to see that it is happening...but what i know is that i will be there when my mama sends nanay to rest beside tatay and i will always have in my heart all the fond memories with my nanay...i will forever be grateful to her and tatay for raising the best mama in the world...goodbye nanay...i know you are happy looking at us with tatay from heaven...we will miss you but you are in a better place...until then...:(

RANDOM blahhhss...blahss...

* it's my first time ever ever to organize our team building and i'm uber2x busy at the same time tense on cracking my brain with ideas how to make it lively and engaging nyahhaaa:-p

*ate aicha, one of the dreamgurlzzz, is tying the knot this october nyahaa:-p finally! may success stories na samin nyahhaa:-p 

*last weekend, when i woke up late evening i had a very bad headache and within minutes i throw up all of what's inside my stomach...ewwwwnesss!!!its probably wasn't digested since i ate a lot as in uber2x a lot!!! i'm maintaning wheat bread and fruits only on weekdays so my tummy is really not used to uber2x foods cguro nyhahaa:-p

* i weighed myself last week and after a month i already lost 5 lbs nyhahaa!!! yipee!!!! more pounds to loose!!! gow! gow! nyahaha:-p

and i finally SAID it....

i was told to go offline for a coaching session and as usual i get the scary thought that i did something wrong kahit wala naman nyahahahaa! paranoid ever:)...anyway, my team lead just explained why i didn't get a raise and he was apologetic about it nyaks! i just answered with "charot! ok rah TL uist"...i mean i already expected it will happen from the day they said that it will be performance based for the early part of the year and i know how much of a wreck my score was...more like reflecting my state of mind...clearly, as much as i hate to admit it my emotions most of the time gets the best of me...but what i couldn't believe was the fact that i confessed about it to my team lead nyahhaaa:-p as usual the words just came out of my mouth nyahaaa:-p i'm not saying we are close enough to share emo2x moments because that would be very ridiculous to the nth level nyahahahaa...to trim down the event, we were discussing my scores which is doing okay (yipee!!!! finally!), we also discussed how to help out a newbie who is clearly not happy with the work (light bulb!!! screaming me 6 months ago), how to handle the newbie since he is already to a point becoming a disturbance and of course a little personal like my love life to which i quickly answered "kekz muna" and the tale of getting hurt and not being able to trust your heart to someone yet...i can recall me saying "what hurts the most is the fact that you were fooled...more like it was your pride attacked"....what my team lead said was "looking back it all boils down to your PRIDE...but it's the only thing left so why let go of it?...in the long run it will all just be a funny memory"...charot! dba nagdrama na ang spiels nyahhahaa but those aren't necessarily the exact words hap there were jokes on the sidelines...i was just surprised hearing it from my team lead because he is the strict type and when he walks around the production floor murag behave humanda mi tanan nyhhahaa:-p...so there goes the coaching session...

they're playing my songs

i need a new song nyaks!....more like i need a new playlist...whackie pings me from time to time his recent favorites and i always end up saying "kadungong naman kow anah"...the worse part is the songs were two years ago..ayayay!!!! that was more like the dark ages in my book of life:-p songs suggested sounded tragic for me back then but caz is so inlove nyahhaa:-p is it possible for songs to have different meanings? i know i'm not making sense nyahhaa just rumbling about something2x nyhaahaa:-p i was a 100% sure those were sad songs for my very meeker mood but well..well...i super need to update my playlist...help!!!! :-p

FOREVERMORE

 i'm such a fan of echo-tin tandem...nyahahaa! (kababawan mode ON!:-p)...even if they are no longer together on/off screen i still get that kilig when i see there movies...before one more chance there was forevermore and i so lurvvveee this movie especially the twist on the mangoes sweetness nyahahaa:-p...the movie is really the usual magkababata then grow apart one went to the city and the other left in the province...nyahaha ayyy nakow...to get the feel of the movie...watch it na lang nayhaaa:-p

SNIPPETS of REALITY....

trisha:para kung masaktan man ako di mo ako makita 

(reached out to popoy's face to close his eyes)

trisha:mahal mo ba sya?
popoy:no comment but cries heavily
trisha: walks out crying

a snippet of a movie line...a mere fragment of reality but is close to my heart personally...recently someone told me that it is very important for all relationships to have a closure and i agree...if it is that easy why not?...i can just sighed again...why do movies make it all appear so easy then again they are just a slice of life within the 2-3 hour frame...when the director says "cut!" it ends...i hope someone will say "cut!" in our movie called "REALITY"...nyahhaaa:-p emo emo nadaot mode :)

si OLD MAID, MARITES at TONI GONZAGA mugna mugna

i have to say drinking is my 2nd favorite vice next to eating...i simply can't live 2 weeks in a row without it nyahahaa!!!! pero hindi pa ako alcoholic bitch nyaks! denial!...i went home last week to tsada cagayan and since i'm home it means i'm clean to the point na muntik ko nang patulan ang GRAND MA and since my sister pissed me off kaya 'yon unplanned events na naman nayhahaaa:-p i have sent out an open invite for my weekly dose of vitamins and as usual many were called but only few answered...uhmmm pamela and thanks to my uber2x red lips josh was tempted to join nyahhahaa....so three's a crowd!!!!

i can sum up the vitamin enriched session( RH! enriched) as revealing and kalokah!...as my fb status says "heartaches and drinks make a perfect match"...more like we were counselors to each other nagpaka wise and nagmarunong sa life...i can recall a scene in sex and the city but couldn't quite remember who said it...it goes something like whatever age bracket we belong to we always talk about boys and heartaches... the only difference is that we now have paychecks...ohhh dba? even on jeepney rides we all hear women talk about it...and it's not just women who talk about it even women at heart/trapped in a mans' body included...the session didn't go melancholic more like it was fun because the three characters involved were in different emotional states...i was the i'm over it stage state,josh was the committed and pamela was on yopak but i still love him stage...interesting and loud characters all with a different take on each other's situation...it was the unlikely trio but nevertheless we enjoyed the company...and we should do this more often! and as for the title well...amin2x nalng nyahaa:-p

and I still WANNA FALL IN LOVE....again!

i was reading other people's blog

for inspiration and to get my creative juice going...then an idea popped...why not read my previous blogs from way way back...uhmmm tripping lang jowd walang magawa nyahahahaa...and so i opened my multiply account and nyaks! i stumble upon my birthday blog in 2008 and to my surprise my wish then was to fall in love...nakuh hap! it's so kalokah! i didn't realize back then it was so babaw nyahahaa...made me realize that as  I grow older birthday wishes become more and more complex...when I was little getting a new dress was my definition of perfect...thus, posing a question when do human beings start to want material stuff nyaahahahaa....but that would be out of topic again nyahahahaa....going back to my birthday wish 2 years ago, for sure the first thing  you will be asking  is if it did come true nyhahahaa...i'd like to say YES! as in bonggang bongga YES! YES! (huwag nalang details okiemz?)...so wishes do come true especially if you make one on your birthday nyhahahaaa...but the thing that bothered me was how did i end up making that wish? or why of all things did i wish for that specifically...hmmmphhhh i'm literally thinking deep more like disturbed on the thought but I only came up with two honest answers charot!....let me sum it up with 2 words...PRESSURE AND PREPARED (PnP...nakikijoin nyhahaa:-p)...pressure from my mom who always asked when she calls if i already have a boyfriend and constantly reminding me she includes it in her novena take note! kalokah! pressure from peers who at that time (take note na naman! at that time hap!) were already having good relationships...not that i felt it out of pressure or sheer consideration from the people involved it was more of a perfect timing...then there comes the being prepared...like i was at the right age and i felt i could handle a serious one plus at that time i felt papa GOD already sent "the one "nyahahhahaa:-p and so until this day i remain in that belief that i am more than prepared...charos! nagmasteral nakow and uban pah nyhahaha:-p but as they say na naman you can never be too prepared or ready when that moment hits you....dba?...this time i won't make it just a birthday wish for myself...I wish for it to be felt by anyone and everyone reading my blog...lastly, i wanna shout it out loud that i still wanna fall in love again! like over and over...but pwede papa GOD the right one this time....nyhahaaa:-p

vacay mode no more....

just came back from a 4 day vacation from my beloved hometown cagayan de oro city aka the city of golden friendship...this time coming home was very different since it was my first time ever to ride on a plane all alone nyaks!!! thank God there were no delayed flights!!! nyahahaha...i'm still feeling the vacay mode even if i'm back to my reality (work! work! ngarag time!!!!)...i am in such no mood for anything to write...i'll try to get back the soonest once i am able to grasp reality nyahhaa:-p

KAGAYHA-AN FESTIVAL

I'M COMING!!!! I'LL BE HOME!!!! HAPPY FIESTA CDO! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA:)

"A person isn't born with the intelligence to be with someone especial, you learn it, and you fail in the path of life, but you don't have to give up the chance to love."- Gael Garcia Bernal 

kalokah!!!! nyhahaaaL:-p i'll keep this in mind from now on...pwamizzz!!!! they say finding someone is a journey not just for finding the half that makes you whole rather making you whole along the process...so when you finally meet you are both complete...life may have twist and turns but you will both find your way back...nyaks!!!! quezo real overload!!!! nyahahhaa:-p

breaking up is hard to do...

on a usual tuesday shift jejen was asking how to make basted a guy...uhhmmmm i felt she asked the wrong person so i just answered with the cliche "honesty is still the best policy"...she responded with "covered honesty" (murag hallortz!!! li nana honesty dba? nyahaaa:-p)...the chat continues and ended up with is it like breaking up?..i earnestly said "YES!"...and she then posed a question i couldn't even answer base on experience (so hindi ako credible na endorser! nyaks!)...and walahhhh thus the initiation of the post...medyo interesting topic and relate-able nho?...pasensiya nah medyo feeling intellectual ang approach ko sa topic as I never get to break up with lotsa guys...there was only one and it's not 100% categorized break-up pah kay hindi naman naging officially us nyahhaaaa....ayyyy ambot uist...enjoy na lang my blahhh..blahhhh...

let's start with when is the breaking point or how do you know this is the moment...all the more what made you decide to end things?...i can't help but relate experiences from my friends and my own as well...medyo mix2x nah lamang para dili ma-identify...here are possible scenarios that could lead to the event and tips...nakow! tips lang yan hap nyahahaa:)

majority would say that it starts when small conflicts and petty things become major issues. after the honeymoon stage ends, you get too familiar with each other making couples feel relax...you see during the lovey dovey stage you are into the getting to know stage and both of you wouldn't want to discourage or make the wrong impression so you are always walking on egg shells trying to look pleasant...once, the monsters hiding behind the fascade starts to surface bang! the vavayerzzz starts...pero dapat when you love the person you have to accept his/her flaws...if you couldn't fathom mistakes from your partner then it wasn't love after all..it was just attraction...you only looked on the physical and you would like that image preserved forever...in short you're not being realistic...2nd in rank, the love fades away...they say it's like you wake up one morning and the feeling went away...paakkk!!! pwede diay nah?...maybe to some it holds true...i had my own experience on this one...my friend just felt one day that her boyfriend felt distant and cold...i felt so sorry for my friend and i so hated the guy up until now nyahhaaa...my point is my friend deserves to know what happened...it's not a demand it's for simple respect na lang sa individual...lastly, the against all odds case...in real life the excitement it brings is uber2x....pamati superstar ang show nyhahahaa....in movies, the love team always wins but in real life i doubt it...what i'm trying to say is when it's love everything should be smooth sailing...it's not just the pair who felt the love but the people around them as well...dba?

as such in conclusion, as the song suggest it is really hard to do...but with all scenarios given kahit mag-iba man ang casting it still boils down to honesty to the shell it is about respect...ending something that is special is not easy...with tearful goodbyes it makes us loose our mind and it kinda lessens our self-esteem for a time...let me quote something "it's not the break up that hurts the most....it's the post-trauma that follows it.it's like..starting your life over and over again and you have no idea where to begin." it's the de-association that comes with the break-up...you both started a life together and getting it out of you system takes time...as they say time heals all wounds...how long that is...to each his own i guess...

"What is one big mistake that you've made in your life 

and what did you do to make it right?"

in a country that worships beauty queens we all want to have a say on what could be a better response...we can't help with our if only's...so what if you were in her shoes (isama mo ang pressure and nervous factor hap!) could you have answered the question right and bring home the crown?...nyahahhaaa...

the WHY's and WHAT's

first, i'd like to apologize for my behavior last sunday...i'm not a bipolar...it was just that someone totally pissed me off...all my closest friends would understand that when i'm already all set for something (laag,bakasyon or unsa paman na sabot2x..kana mag set2x expectation)and on the 11th hour cancelled i get violent (nyahahaa:-p)...it just so happened i was online, changed my status and got some of my friends worried...parang all at once 5 pipz were chatting me on the spot with the same question...since my life is an open book i'll answer the why's and what's surrounding the event that lead to a sudden change of mood...i'm done venting ..i'm now sharing my frustration (KSP lng jowd nyahahaa:-p)...this is the last and only time i'm gonna talk about it publicly (feeler na kris!)....

for the record, i'm not seeing someone exclusively but sa candidates naa man jowd early favorites (anah na lamang ang status:-p)...this someone is a blast from the past that i never expected...i was even shock on the whole pacute2x/flirting thing with him because i can only see him as a friend...i find it weird the first time but i had feeling even way back  there was something but i disregard the whole scenario because at that time i was into someone (that ended japon hhayz nakow..!!!)anyway, going back to regular programming...it was the usual lazy sunday...since i was all alone i went into the cafe to upload pictures from my birthday and also to say my thanks to the many many people who greeted me...kana normal lang jowd nakow na state...suddenly out of nowhere may ngtext...clap2x nakow because it was from him...i was in a hurry loading the pictures because he told me he was gonna come visit...excited mode nakow syempre...then suddenly i received a message saying he won't be able to make it...hay nakow to my dismay...i mean i could have just let it pass but there were follow up messages saying he'd love to come but reasons kuno...out of irritation and annoyance i replied "if ganahan kah moanhi then ari...wala man kow namugos nimo..ikaw man magsulti2x moari kah then ikaw rapod mobawi..ayaw pangayo pasensiya kay vegah rah nakow"...paak!!!

lesson of the story....there are things that are as good as it gets...i mean from the start i kept saying i had no feelings for him but  from friends encouraging me left and right  to give it a chance i was to a point converted...sino ba naman ako para humindi sa attention na ibibigay sakin dba? as my kuya jeph would say it "wag kang choosy!" nyahaaa....boys will always be boys...and i should live by my words "isa lamang syang kekz until further notice" nyahaha...it's funny saying it but when it happens to real life its more like a tragic comedy waiting to be unfold...i just kept on sighing with the words "hahayz "thundering inside my head...but then again...life must go on...and then again my quest for life (maisingit na ang search for  the one) continues...stay tuned....

CRUEL & TRAGIC REALITY

i whine about a lot of things...i should be thankful that i have a job...many people out there are desperate to have one...a policeman hostaged chinese nationals to fight for his post...my GOD!...i get him but resorting to violence is a big NO-NO...may his soul rest in peace and so with the victims...i pray for HEALING...

i know that YOU are not good for me...YOU have the same pattern from the past...YOU were supposed to stay my friend...YOU please stop doing things that flatter me...YOU were there at my weakest moment...grrrr!!!i'm so weak...i can't help it...i hate it...i just need YOU...:(

HEY HEYPI BIRTHDAY

i am very very thankful to all who greeted and remembered my day...my outmost gratitude to my family, dreamgurlzzs,supahfwenzzz,paak gurlzzz, vegah gurlz, pretty girls, labandera beauties,higschool and college classmates, CVG pipz, etel pipz and lexmark software team for my semi surprise cake and pancit...above all thanks papa GOD for 26 years of blessings...all things in this world are easier,bearable and happiest when the simplest of things are given~ true friendship,unconditional love from family and unwavering faith in GOD...listed below are the people who greeted me..those i failed to tally i'm sorry i must have missed sa dami ba naman nang nag greet but nevertheless i still say thank you and the list is not in order or importance:-p

family,angel,lorie,jejen,june,jennie,whackie,nikolai,willyn,julie,

edmatz,dory,ate KC, SW team,jabez,pam,harbot,kendrea,mommy vrang,rennan,

veve lloyd,aicha,ronita,errol,badjoy,drex,poppie,vaughn,tl guen,karyo,dominic embodo,june-ann,ms rose,boyeng,farrah,jade,jaz feliza,

koyah ram,frankie,lele,ailz,donna,plong,rowe ann,roda,dario,ela,mommy pau
shantel,ms francia, mulo,juneth,arianne,lia,yagi, alex,ynez,princess.josh,honey,jasper,vira,mark domingo,ate aicha,master,kulot,mikay,endai,yuya kash,teh ging,veve kulot,kuya jeph,tita fiel,teh jugz,mikko,yeal,julius cezar,mylene,sen,julibeth,tobias,jennifer patlunag,beryl,peachy, maieen,rose,jenny dizon,felssie,misty ann,ethel,arthur,yvette,daisy jane

FATTI CASUALI

one sleepless afternoon..which rarely happens and only happens when my brain is itching for something to write. everything written is random meaning it just poured out.i was even giddy on the idea that this post will be unique but when i saw similar posting from bianca (feeling close hap! nyahahahaa)...so i rested my case on the "unique" thing but nevertheless here are still 26 random facts or things that i believe about my life...i hope you'll enjoy and won't mind the long post nyahhaaa:)

1. LOVE~haven't had much luck on this area but i remain optimistic...he could just be stranded somewhere looking for me too nyahahaa:)

2.FRIENDS~many people feel that i choose my friends. TRUE! but don't take it the wrong way. I choose my friends not because of status or beauty (although dapat lng man sad nyahhaa) but because of influence they have on my life. Most of them were with me through the worsest days and we've manage to grow up and learn together. In fact, I only have a few I can really call my "TRUE FRIENDS".

3.FAMILY~i never appreciated my family back in CDO. character and value formation begins at home. although, my parents were strict they have molded me to be the best person that I can be. Now that i am an island away from them i totally miss the pangasaba and the noise of my sisters. As they say, when worse comes to worse your family will always be there for their unconditional love. That I am truly truly thankful..

4. TRAVELLING & ADVENTURE~as far as i can remember I have always wanted to travel...when we were kids i am always happy when we visit relatives in cebu and tacloban and summer in camiguin....i envy my mom's business trips and she would always remind me to finish school so i can go places..the family vacation sparked the travel enthusiast in me and  my mom's words served as an inspiration. so it wasn't much of a surprise when i had my first job i started visiting the neighboring islands then expanded to luzon and then further to HK and Macau:) but that's just the start of things to come...humanda ang world! nyahhaa:-p..i love adventure-in varying forms since im a curious cat nyahahaa:-p the thrill of not knowing where you are ,being unknown and lost  and the sudden rush excites me...my knees get weak and at times almost at my wits end especially when i ride scary rides but I just have this mind set "I'm here nah! so gow nah!"...the experience captured or not is worth it!

6. PICTURES~i love pictures taken in the crowd aka turista mode:) makes you feel you're one of them regardless of color, race and status. gives us the fair share of just being there walking amongst the crowd.  when we walked amongst the crowded streets we are all equal. a good testament to this is the sinulog festival where we all walk the streets.

7.SCARY THOUGHTS~when i'm scared i close my eyes and pray. remember, when we were young, elder people (a.k.a yaya and sometimes our parents)...would always scare us of aswangs and company when we misbehave nyahahaa:) on the other hand they would always remind us  to pray and I can still hear me chanting angel of GOD. After 26 years, i sill make it a point to pray not because of fictional aswangs and company but of real life demons that continue to challenge me.

8.SADNESS~ I do get sad sometimes i just perfected the art of hiding it behind my laughs. being heartbroken is a given and no need to further elaborate (marami na akong blog na nagawa nyan nyhahaaa!)...i get sad after my leave ends and i have to leave home...i get sad when my younger siisters are giving my parents a hard time...i get sad when my mom calls and someone is sick..i get sad when my family and friends are hurt and just recently i was sad because some of my friends left pinas to work overseas:(

9.DREAMGURLZZZ~ they are the best travelling companions I've meet( so far hap!) after my family. majority of my trips always include at least one or if not all of the dreamgurlzzz casting...they are one of my truest and bestest friends...our trips may it be out of the blue or planned it always ends with a blast and stories to last a lifetime.

10.HONEY & JOSH~ surprisingly two of my bestest were  once inhabitants of the city of golden friendship but our paths never crossed until we stepped into the queen city of the south:)..that just proves the theory na bilog ang mundo...who knows those who hate me now will end up being my friend in the far future..i can't wait! nyahahaa:>

11. THE ONE~ on finding and meeting him uhmmm...i have to say that if it's bound to happen it will happen nyahahaa:) I don't go for looks though bonus if naa:-p it's more of the personality and me being challenge intellectually...and of course the never ending walang kamatayang GOD fearing, honest and higit sa lahat mamahalin ang parents and esp my friends...he should be able to accept them  regardless how out of the ordinary they maybe and won't make derogatory remarks on the lifestyle they have...'yon lang hindi ako masyadong demanding sa lagay na 'yan! nayahaa:-p

12. SHOPPING~ i find therapy in buying groceries and shopping. Aside from the fact that it makes me feel all grown-up it also test me from temptations on the "wants" and "needs"...but my biggest guilt is splurging on shoes and bags nyahahaa:-p

13. TRUTH~ i'm a believer of "the truth will set you free"...when i ask with all honesty i expect  a truthful and honest answer....i mean what's the point of sugarcoating things...when i feel you deserve to know something then i hope people will take it constructively...i do get a lot of that from time to time and it hurts to know the truth that's a given...it's how you handle it afterwards. afterall, everything people say against you always has basis so just respect it and work on it :) to end this, the more lies you create the more it gets confusing when trapped on your web of lies...

14.CRY BABY~i cry when i got angry and frustrated...rare moments i keep quiet...moments that i need space...i suggest not to talk to me and wait for me to start a conversation or else you'll see hell unleashed nyahhaa:)...

15. JOURNEY~along my journey in life a lot of people have hurt me on purpose (sako pamati nyaks!)...some of them call themselves my friend, some made me question myself and the most painful part is promising to be there forever and then left (woosh! invisible mode paakkkk!!!)...but i still have the heart to forgive them and always remind myself that karma strikes when you least expect it...on the brighter side, i am thankful for people who remained true and gave me a chance to prove myself and tried to see the real me...you will always be an inspiration and i continue to smile because of you folks :)

16. JOLOGS~i maybe maarte looking and speaking most of the time but deep down I am such a JOLOGS like all Filipino..i do watch tagalog movies and I get hooked to soap operas..huwag nang hypocrite ang iba jan! nyahaa:-p I even have a vcd collection of ate shawie's good old 80's classic nyahahaa:-p

17. LOYALTY~ apart from honesty you can also count in my loyalty. I will defend to death my family and friends. I always look out of their best interest...so watch out and be warned! paaakkkk!

18. THE OC~when i set myself on achieving something i get OC borderline mean to myself just to achieve my goal.

19. WISE WORDS~ my mom and my sister constantly remind me not to trust people easily...i can't explain but that's just who I am..most of the time they are right but i just can't help it...

20. GOODNESS~i believe in the goodness deep inside all of us.there is always an explanation on how we act and respond to everything. i refuse to believe that someone is born evil to the core...keep in mind we are all created by GOD in HIS own image right?

21.HEROES~ my parents are my life heroes...i can't imagine how they raised 5 individuals with varying personalities. gosh! they made it look easy...that alone is 5 star....hell! i can't even imagine raising myself nyahaa:-p

22.CHOICES~i am a pro-choice person. i believe that life is about choices...some choices we make  aren't so perfect but it always help in growing up...just be sure not to loose yourself when faced with difficult choices...if you can't see yourself long term in that choice then get out the soonest...the high you get is only temporary i assure you...

23.INSECURITIES~ we all have our insecurities...we aren't barbie dolls molded in plastics...but i have learned that insecurities aren't deficiencies but are areas for development...i was not born with the perfect looks, straight and white teeth,  all the more the perfect body and porcelain skin but there is always a way to improve or at least compensate for that...first learn to embrace and love yourself and everything follows...as for the physical thing we can always exercise not to have a sexy body but to live healthy nyahaaaha:)...as for my skin already had my warts removed and for my teeth visited the dentist to have it fixed by the end of the year nyahahaa:)

24. FOR THE LOVE OF OTHERS~ i am extremely happy for my friends happiness and success...there maybe times i don't agree on the choices they make but gow fab pa rin as long as they are happy. I am double2x happy when i see and feel they make the right choices (but sino ba naman ako? nayhahahaaha ako2x raman nah...) and i keep my mouth shut or just have no say when i feel its spiral going downhill but I always always stand by their choices as long as they still need or consider me a friend nyaks!

25. REALITY~ over the years, i realized true friends are those that stay even after long moments of not communicating or after heavy arguments. A catch up coffee, chat, text, phone call or unsa paman every once in awhile will do. It's the feeling of assurance that no matter what happens they are just there always ready to listen and damayan kah nyahahaa:-p

26. FAITH~GOD is the director of our life and all we have to do is submit to HIS will. In HIS time all things our heart and soul aspire will be done...whatever difficulties I encounter though at times I may feel lost but GOD sent instruments for me to weather the storms of life and when everything has passed when I am all better and healed it ends up being a funny memory...26 years of life is a blessing alone...26 years filled with challenges, guidance and love from family and friends are the best GIFTS i can ever ask for...makes life worth living! dba life is vegah rah! nyahhaa:-p

that's it...more post on for my birthday...the party already started nyahahaaa:-p

kick off for my bday

i'd like to thank my caz whackie for making this video:) thanks so much for the effort and polvoron included nyahahaa:-p it feels so good to have friends that i can always count on during times that i was an emotional wreck nyahahaa...the pictures are so funny and you will see me in all sizes and i apologize if naa mga tao in the past nga naapil...i didn't know aha nakuha ni whckie ang pic nyahhaaa:) im just sharing the video...nyahhaa:) i hope u all will enjoy it as much as i did :)

"So I'll let you go, I'll set you free
And when you've seen what you need to see
When you find you, come back to me
Come back to me..."

  

Was switching channel this morning and I came by full time mom with noelle cassandra rendering her version of the song...I can't explain but I suddenly felt tears streaming from my eyes...I'd like to believe due to exhaustion or lack of sleep...nyaks! i don't wanna invite other reasons....OMG!

I am...

i've been meaning to write for the past months nyahahhaa:) i just couldn't find the right avenue on where to start or how i should start...thoughts just kept pouring and i just shelved them all away for all the reasons i could think...more often ending with the famous excuse "I'm busy!"...in a real sense I was...the past 8 months a lot of decisions and changes happened...most of which brought about by my unstable mind while trying to rationalize things...nagpaka wise kunuhay kow char! if not for the blogs i've been following (bianca,patty,ala and donna~take note donying hap ka line up sa stars!!!!) i would never be persuade to blog again....so here i am...with my loud brain back into blogging and to start things...i am hereto introduce myself....nyahahaa:)

i am Pauline Mae Cinco Aloyon. 25 years old..will be 26 in 3 days...hailing from the City of golden friendship(charot! inspired sa Ms. Universe). I am the eldest among 5 sisters but I act as if I'm the 2nd or the youngest ( feeler nyahhaaa:-p). I've been in Cebu City for the past 6 years working and meeting lots of people (partying on the side nyahahaa). For starters, I am maldita looking and I may sound garvosa but don't be deceived with that...I just don't make the first move but once I felt our vibes connecting that's when the fun part starts. I'd like to believe that I am adventure seeking in a sense, very curious in a lot of things and generously loving.I am always on the go as long as I love the crowd or at least interested in one of the crowd and going to the beach is a number one favorite. I do party but most of the time I just stay at home with the usual DVD marathon or cleaning the house. I am easily annoyed with a lot of issues but i always end up keeping my mouth shut. So far, that's all that I can think of...pawala lng sa duka nyahahaa:-p anyway, if someone will ever follow or accidentally read my blogs CONGRATULATIONS! (feeler again!) that will give them a chance to get to know me deeper (feeler najowd ni!)and also I will have my disclaimer included ...I don't find it necessary but most of the blogs I followed have one so nakikijoin na rin ako nyahhaa:-p

DISCLAIMER: All things posted will be taken from my perspective...meaning i own all of it...if ever in a way you get affected or disturbed I apologize in advance and strongly suggest that you create your own site so you too can voice out your point of view nyahahaa:-p some things posted would be meaningless but to me it is important...I guess this is about it :) see yah soon :)

BE- B~eautiful E~scapade

Last weekend to escape from the pressures and hassles of city life me and my lexmark buddies jejen and budoy trouped to the nearest island...more like no choice nyhahahaa:-p...it was a spur of the moment decision made by jejen and invited along long time city gurl (mehhh) and island local (maricel aka budoy)...since it was tingbits time we are uber2x thankful to jejen who made it all possible...it was a simple get away weekend although minus boys (aheeemmmm!!!)..maybe next time...nyahahaa:-p i have to commend be resort staff they are the best as in CSAT to the max....more pictures shall be posted in facebook but here's a sneak peek....

yum! yum! breakfast minus the bacon:(

our own version of H2O just add water:)

the comfort of queen sized beds ayayay...:)

somewhere i belong

it's never too late to start new and write blogs again:) better way to start on my birthday month:)