it seems that fate would always have our paths crossed and the last words "until our paths meet again" resounds like a thunder roar with lots of questions emerging from my mind. the good thing, i no longer have that strong sense of attachment emotionally as i write this but who knows in months time if that would still be the case. i am tempted to back out and i have millions of reasons for it to look valid but it would be hypocrisy to avoid this opportunity knowing that i am strong enough to face the reality despite its harshness. i mean hello? years have passed  to a point that i have immunized myself from feeling anything. i would never get answers if i continue to run away. as far as i know i have questions and they need answers. i will not demand for the answers but i have to know rather than turning a blind eye or keep pretending that you never existed. i cannot be living in webs of make believes, of how comes and of uncertainties. that is not the life i wanted and certainly in all honestly i wanna completely move on. move on in a real since that there are no unfinished business or outburst waiting to blow up. i hate showing my touchy side because it makes me vulnerable to a lot of things .i hate to be ridiculed even from my closest friends. you may see me laughing on the jokes you throw at me but always bear in mind that those pits of cries are not for your viewing pleasure. they were never meant to come out in public. it would be much appreciated if you just respect it. then again, it already happened and i cannot change what you are. i am not mad,  i'm just probably disappointed. this is a crisis that i carry for years! as much as i wanna keep it to myself, moments of vulnerability happen and as much as i wanna hold it all together those are the moments i simple cannot. if you don't like what you see or hear then best to keep your mouth shut. blackmailing are only for uneducated people. no hurt feelings here, just saying a little growing up wouldn't hurt. there are moments for childish things. as far as feelings go, basic common sense would tell us to respect it right? as crazy as it may seem, despite the immaturity ,you are still my friend:-p we've survived far more devastating heartaches, mishaps in life and silly moments. this one shouldn't break us char! back to original topic, so let's see what happens. base on my assessment i have no more reason to fallback. not in a sense i am in fighting form, just that things are more clearer and time has helped erased the setback i once fallen. so with God as my witness , giving me the power to wage war to beat out the conflict in me let's put the phrase "until our paths meet again" to the edge of its limit.