I can't help but linger with the idea of our reason for living...my friend asked me that question during the wake of our friend's mother last Saturday...in unison, we responded with the reason that everything we do is for our parents...our smallest to the greatest achievements are all for our parents. so here comes the follow-up question what happens when they leave us here on Earth? i have no answer and i don't even wanna think of one at that moment and to our surprise the gayest (pinakabayot heavy!) of us all answered simply with "that's why you need to have a family of your own so every triumphant moments would be for them." i was taken aback on the statement and at that moment i have confirmed what i have fearfully hated to admit for the longest time...i wanted to have a family of my own so when i grow old i have people to look after, share my wisdom and give all of my affection. funny things happen when someone dies, you get to contemplate on things you wanted.  suddenly, you just feel that you are not alone on that need. putting everything on living each day to the fullest as a mere requirement and sub topic on how to live. i am not saying we shouldn't...in fact, we should nyhahaa:-p as a parting word, on mikay's speech i can't help but shed tears when he said " so all of you, who still has a mommy and daddy do not forget to say i love you when you have the chance because you'll never know when would be last." i realize then how much i love my mama and papa...not that i didn't just that we were never the showy bunch but we know deep inside we do. when i was younger, i would only think of things that makes me happy but lately i realized that i am way past those years. it's now my time to think about mama and papa. probably the reason why working abroad is not something i can decide yet...a lot of considerations has to be made and i need to be assured that whatever the decision i make, will not affect any benefits they can enjoy while i work here. mama and papa are not getting younger and i can't help but be bothered on thinking i haven't done enough to make them say that they did a good job on me nyahhahaaa:-p nevertheless, i am trying as in trying hard making baby steps:) as for the family thing, i think that can wait...if papa God wills it then it will happen and until that happens i am faithfully submitting to His will:)