seeking...

most of the time it takes time for things to sink in to my system regardless if its a happy or sad one...blame the worrier or OC-ness in me, if I am given a choice I always plan ahead considering all options especially financial concerns since I have obligations.there are things I take risk but career wise, I always envision things and make timetables with back up plans in case some things do not go out as planned. it's still 6 months to go before it "actually" happens yet as early as now I am frightened on what awaits me there...apprehensions and anxieties are slowly creeping up to my spine and I cannot explain why...i can see where I am going, i just don't know what will happen but I remain optimistic that things will work my way...with everything going on, i ended up attending mass to seek guidance and find peace...i am patiently waiting for an answer from papa God and I faithfully hope it will coincide with my plans:) i trust that His will would be for the best! :)

SEPTEMBER NUGGETS

lately i have lotsa ideas popping up on my mind as to what i wanna post, what i wanna achieve and what i wanna do...and take note those are just things inside my head not counting the number of things i do physically and manually on a day to day basis...shouting kalerkiii!!! seemed to eased the stress a bit but i'm not complaining...uhmmm i remind myself to count the days i was on vacation recently and much better than not doing anything at all :) even the title to this post went to a lot of renovations...as to why its titled...well with my current state, its slices of what i wanna post and nuggets seemed to represent them...so here goes saksak sinugol:-p

to start of, the month begun with a much deserved vacation to in general scale to panay group of island~ namely, ILO-ILO, GUIMARAS AND BORACAY. personally, party and commercial wise boracay is beach capital of the philippines but if you are looking for rest and relax i suggest you go to el nido or camiguin (nyaks! favoritism!) going back, despite a few disadvantages it would be my third visit to the island. each visit is with varying emotional phases but we need not go to further details for now. to my surprise and disappointment, 6 of us were supposed to take the trip but ended up with just me and pam...imagine my face full of discontent but i just kept on telling myself that whatever happens this trip will push through...i mean it would be fun to spend it with friends but if it ends disastrously with them on it then much better to go on board a few enthusiastic ones. tickets were booked months before and sorry to sound insensitive and all but i find it "BS" suhwear! i'm sorry that's just how i feel and to add, cutting out communication and placing me intentionally or maybe accidentally to a "no talk" state just made me question our friendship...however, if you know me and deeply consider me to be a so-called "friend",i can always reconsider and forget it happened:) on a more happy note, i finally set foot to Guimaras island...known for producing the sweetest mango in the Philippines this is surely not one to miss...uber2x glad to enjoy the day trip but was very unfortunate not to sample mango from the island since its off season...a bonus we meet new friends ted and lyka...uhmm we actually hit it off during an impromptu island hopping...i always welcome acquaintances on my trips since they are major factors and true to life instances where we can showcase our world renown "Filipino hospitality" ...i've been lucky to meet good people from my many travels and thanks papa GOD for that:) ilo2x on this trip was more of a jump off place...of the 5 days, 3 days were spent in boracay..originally, it was only 2 days but due to heavy partying and drinking we had a one day extension nyhahaaa:-p and when i say heavy drinking it came to a point where i feel asleep and had no memory on what happened next...thanks papa GOD again i was with a good friend,pam, who never gave up until i was safely back to our resort. again geng, thanks much! in return i paid for the extra day we had...that's the least i can do in exchange of all the hassles...now, this is the part where i felt embarrassed and like a computer if possible do a clean install nayhhaaa:-p i didn't know what hit me...i knew i had to much for the night considering it was only the two of us but i am such a pleaser i couldn't say no to a drink...thinking hard and looking back, i'm used to drinking but not really mix drinks, as for the emotional side it's something i am trying to control to the point that i'm contemplating on seeing a shrink...on the brighter side as long as i'm sober and sane, then my lips are sealed:) this was definitely one heck of a trip!

just 4 days after my panay trip, i was shipped to the city of golden friendship to witness the union of jasper and vira. i love weddings since they always remind me of fairy tale happy endings and of course love, love,love :) it is such a happy occasion  where people dress up and genuinely smile because they are happy :) i also get emotional on weddings because i'm happy for my friend and i remain hopeful one day it will also happen to me nyaks! since the wedding took place on my hometown, i get to spend time with my parents and my 3 younger siblings. the last time i went home was may of 2010 for the national elections. there are lots of things i miss, my mom's constant chismis about my lovelife, my dad's tease on my weight and my sisters unstoppable phase of teen age rebellion/early adult dilemmas. of course, the sunday lunch! my it would always be like a fiesta sunday but as payback i get to cook chos! i'm not claiming cooking supremacy but i can cook without getting people poisoned nyahhaa:-p but one funny thing that made me think deep was my youngest sister asking as to what happened to "mr. photographer"...at first i didn't understand who she was referring to and i had to ask her again to describe and then bang! i can't explain what i should feel at that moment or how i should answer her innocent question...i just simple replied with "namatay naman tow sya"...kalookah! at that moment, i said to myself in silence that i would never again submit my family or loved ones into that state of hoping that he could be someone in my life unless i am 100% sure...it was a mix of feeling sorry and sad and i swear not to put them into that feeling moving forward! 

after 2 straight weeks of leisure time, back to reality na naman oks...confronted with where did my SSS cheque go, planning for our team building, organizing a dinner/lunch for jasper and vira, researching for places to go and the best mode of transportation for our KL/SG tour this November...don't you just love life? i'm surely stressed out with everything but the thought that you are part of some unit and your opinion or vision matters is fulfilling in a way...at least for now i have things to busy up myself dba?....this is a good way to start my "BER months" :)